Meaning of Liff

It must mean something

I was reading about New Orleans this morning, that's so awful.  I'm sure these things are getting more frequent and worse you know - 12 months ago we had the flash floods in Boscastle and there seems to be something happening almost every week or two now.

If I was having one of my 'earth child' days I'd be saying something about Mother Earth trying to tell us something about now.....

Welcome back, Sunday Morning Feeling

I was laying in the bath this morning, wondering if, since no one will be getting near them, I need bother to shave my legs, and then wondering if the fact I was wondering that meant that I was already on the path to becoming one of those hairy old women you can't help but stare at, when I realised I was feeling content.

I don't mean with everything or life in general or whatever, but it's a long time since I felt even momentarily really content (as opposed to happy or relaxed or those other feelings that happen occasionally)  so it was a bit of a shock moment to be honest.

But I had the doors and windows open, and a gentle breeze blowing over me, the sun coming right into the bathroom, a cat (precariously) asleep on the side of the bath and the washing machine making Sunday morning sounds downstairs, plus my neighbour learning to play the guitar in his garden next door (generally would be a bad thing but he's Brazilian so the accent when he sings makes up for the odd bum note when he plays) and I could almost imagine myself in one of those 'wish my life was like this' adverts if I closed my eyes and didn't look at the state of the shower door (note to self; add glass cleaner to shopping list).

Then the phone went and rather spoilt the moment, but hey, 4 minutes of contentment is better than none.

I want I want I want

Sure it's a little expensive, but then it does the job of a Tivo and an I-pod

Sure it's a little more bulky than your average mp3 player, but then I'd only want to use it when I was travelling somewhere and had a bag with me

So now my only problem, after working out how to pay the mortgage and stuff (I'm hoping if I ignore reality it'll go away) is whether to buy this or an Aibo.

Or mayby just go on holiday. Twice.

But I want to be the only person with a mooing clock

Don't you just hate it when you have something really unusual and a couple of years later everyone starts selling it? Then what you have becomes sort of devalued in your own eyes because people all think they knew about it at the same time (very much like when you've liked specific music for years and they suddently become and 'overnight success' and spotty little 15 year olds start talking about their 'early work')

So anyway - I've had a MooCoo Clock  for years - I love my MooCoo clock, although I must remember to get another battery since its not sounding very moo-ey at the moment. This morning I decided to look for a present for a monkey obsessed friend of mine and discovered they now do OranguCoo clocks (and also pigs and some  farmer type thing which says oooh-arrrr) as well as the ever popular CluckCoo and EweCoo clocks.

But worse - I discovered that everyone sells them now. All over the internet. When I got mine they only came from the manufacturer and John Lewis. Now when people walk into my lounge they won't say "wow - thats a, um, interesting clock you have there...." they'll say "oh yeah, did you get it from Argos?" .

Grrrrrr.

Playboys groundbreaking idea; online porn

wow - I wish I'd thought of this - it's one of those ideas that might just take off and earn someone some money. Playboy have had the brilliant idea of offering porn online.

How come no-one else has thought of that?

Oh and obviously people will only read it for the articles.

I want to see the pictures...

Apparantly

A Belgian nun's acrobatic and indecorous dancing with a missionary during the Catholic World Youth Day in Germany over the weekend earned her a reprimand from her mother superior, a Belgian paper said Tuesday.

Daily Het Laatste Nieuws showed pictures of a dancing Johanne Vertommen being held up in the air by the missionary, and then clinging to him with her legs wrapped around his body.

"I wouldn't do this at home but at such occasions I get carried away by the enthusiasm of the group," the 29-year-old told the paper later.

Now that's pretty funny - but the absolute best bit is that the guest of honour was the Pope.....

My Tattoo

That's it - I've decided - I will be getting that tattoo..... I've sat and wondered whether I should for a month, and I've asked people, and I've asked more people, and I've been to shops and talked to them, and I've considered alternatives (you know - piercings, liposuction, full body transplant) - but what it fundamentally comes down to is why not?  It's not like I'm intending to have something around my neck or across my forehead or something.

So now I need to raise the cash (I'm thinking I may be doing it after my birthday!) and then spend an hour sitting having tender bits of my body prodded at with a sharp inky needle. Oooh I can hardly wait ....

These women are not fat

I can't believe people are describing them as fat - that's worrying. In fact some of them are gorgeous.  Ah mayby I just think women should have curves - but in all honesty if you think the blond one's fat you have a huge problem :)

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=2287

Hints for when sending me a CV

If sending me a CV, especially if unsolicited, it really does help to get the following right - I admit I may be a bitch of a person to satisfy but some of these are pretty fundamental.

1. While I'm impressed that you have managed to find my name and haven't just sent it to 'sales' the fact that you know my name is Denise makes me wonder why you then address me as 'Mr Smith' (that is, Mr MySurname, although I have previously received an e-mail which started Dear Mr XXXX ) . If English is your first language and you are unaware that Denise is a girls name I doubt you're especially employable.

2. Those people that list their skills and assign a mark out of 5 to each, and then on a list of 100 items have no mark lower than 4, will not get a job. I want to employ people who are good at what they do,  designers do not need to be experts in excel, programmers do not have to be able to design in flash, and I don't believe that any 19 year old in the world is a 5/5 at more than 4 programming languages. If you think you're that good at everything I know I'm going to spend half of my time argueing with you about you having to do things our way.

3.  Sending me a CV in the middle of August 2005 stating that you started your (only relevant) job in August 2005 and listing how much responsibility you have and how great you are at it only makes me wonder why you would want to move? Yes I have a suspicious mind.

4. I appreciate that you may need to use a hotmail account to send CV's - but if you do please do try and pick a businesslike one.  Risque addresses, pornstar names and 'kaitielovesjim' e-mails are not good on a CV.

5. I don't care if you were a prefect at school.

6. The ability to 'use the internet' is something I assume from someone sending a CV to a web design agency.

People who shouldn't have children

Last night when I got home I drove into my car park place and almost killed a small child. Now that may sound nasty but the small child in question was sitting on the ground right inside the wall bit so until I'd turned in I couldn't see him at all.

His mother started off by screaming and having hysterics. Then she called me a few names (generally on the theme of bad driver and murderous bitch) and then started shouting at him to get up.

Now - lets just take a reality check moment. The woman is picnicing with her son on our private land where cars clearly park and doing it just out of the sightline and just inside the street entrance. Call me picky but I think she was lucky I didn't start shouting at  her.